There are times when i want to ask WHY. The many why that is running thru my mind. I want to question all the things that has happen and had happen without me expecting. Every single time i will be overwhelmed with strong emotions and even feel that life is unfair to me. Very unfair indeed. I did things i am not supposed to do or rather i should abstain from doing. Sometimes i feel i am goin crazy and i will use an imaginary barricade to block myself from having any contact with human beings. I wonder what is happening to me. It can't be menopause cos i am not at that stage, yet. It couldnt be PMS either. I worry abt death that may come any time. About when i am going to be the expected muslimah that i should have been. About work. About how long do i need to endure this relationship. About why he hasnt come to his senses yet. About being left on the shelf when i am supposed to be married. and the list goes on. I fear of going to the doc to have a check up to see if my body system is well and fine.
What is wrong with me??
BUt deep down, i know what ever that is happening are all test from HIM the almighty. It is just being the imperfect human that i am, i fall into the trap of syaitans callings.
There are times when i want to leave everything behind and start a new life a new journey. But every single time i fail to do so.
There are times when i want to ask WHY. The many why that is running thru my mind. I want to question all the things that has happen and had happen without me expecting. Every single time i will be overwhelmed with strong emotions and even feel that life is unfair to me. Very unfair indeed. I did things i am not supposed to do or rather i should abstain from doing. Sometimes i feel i am goin crazy and i will use an imaginary barricade to block myself from having any contact with human beings. I wonder what is happening to me. It can't be menopause cos i am not at that stage, yet. It couldnt be PMS either. I worry abt death that may come any time. About when i am going to be the expected muslimah that i should have been. About work. About how long do i need to endure this relationship. About why he hasnt come to his senses yet. About being left on the shelf when i am supposed to be married. and the list goes on. I fear of going to the doc to have a check up to see if my body system is well and fine.
What is wrong with me??
BUt deep down, i know what ever that is happening are all test from HIM the almighty. It is just being the imperfect human that i am, i fall into the trap of syaitans callings.
There are times when i want to leave everything behind and start a new life a new journey. But every single time i fail to do so.
my rants
