As we age, comes more wants and needs. There is also the sense of responsibility towards one self and to others in which only people with conscience possessed. How nice, not.
There are so many things i wish and hope to achieve in this short lifetime. The Big question is HOW will i pursue it when everything clashes? and of course MONEY is always involved. I have always believe money makes the world go round in the society we are living in. Craps are comments which states money are secondary. I beg to differ. Love without money and you think you can survive? Thats just wishful thinking which sooner or later will lead to depression. Not that i hope or pray for that to happen to the people out there. But we need to be realistic right. Just hw do you survive wo money? Money is essential. A necessasity. And you never know in time to come, money IS everything.
Gone are the days where i will always dream i will get money out of nowhere. Maybe a rich man wants me or i struck a fortune. Funny when i think back how princessy i could get. I have learnt to step in the real world. Its hard and frigging hard that is but i am surviving. When i am so hard and tite towards the end of the month, i feel like breaking down. I hate myself for not studying hard enough to secure myself a high standing post. If i could turn back time, i would and make sure i soar high to the sky. If only. I do not want the current standing i had now. I want to earn big bucks. I want to pursue my studies. I want my skills or even passion to be recognised. I do not want to be bullied just because i do not possess THAT standing. I have my dreams to be respected and reputable and not a second-standard individual.
Wish of myself being a rich girl has always been playing in my mind but yet thankful i wasn't. Contradicting, yes i know. Since i am not one, i have learn the meaning of endurance and perseverance. Learn the need to be optimistic and work for things i wish for. I am so thankful for that.
Now the issue is, how do i juggle between the responsibility and the desire to work towards my dreams? Yes, i am caught in the two. I do not have the luxury of doing both. My life is as such. I need to choose.fast. I can't afford to be selfish and just think of myself. or should i? Self before others? Thats is so #%#@(*# inconsiderate.
Love told me before, ' I will be happy for you if you get to achieved what you want dear. If getting to a university is what you want, go ahead.' Those words became my source of encouragement. I want to be proud(in a gd way of course) of myself and US. I wish to prove to me and ___________ that i can just be like the others and even more then that. One day, people will stop comparing me with some others so-called brainy witch or wizard.
___________ love to say about others this and that. Always saying me and the YOUNGER siblings aren't competent enough. To cut short ___________ sayings, the message I get is we are sore losers. Simply put, harsh but 'refreshing' enough to push myself harder. That is why i hate it when the siblings are ever so lazy to further their studies and be so laidback. It is as if giving more points for ___________ to say in the future. JUst yest, my youngest sis said,
' I don't ever wish to step into poly. I think i cant also. If i ever step into ITE is good enough.'
I no longer have anything against ITE but her message is simple. tsk. My ear went dhnnngggggg when she said that.
Oh Allah almighty, please path the right way for me. Grant me, even the least light will do so that i can move towards it.
Love, i am sorry. I have no idea whether i have been to hard on you regarding this matter. I may have been pushing too hard. When at times we have our disagreement, trust me that somehow i do not know i have become overly optimistic. You need me and i need you sweetheart. You know that. You are my smiles and my inspiration. We have our own sets of views and opinions but Walk with me throughout this dear. I so need you.
Even if i or even us do not reach the sky,
at the very least we reach the starz. I will not have any regrets cause i tried. and you tried.
As we age, comes more wants and needs. There is also the sense of responsibility towards one self and to others in which only people with conscience possessed. How nice, not.
There are so many things i wish and hope to achieve in this short lifetime. The Big question is HOW will i pursue it when everything clashes? and of course MONEY is always involved. I have always believe money makes the world go round in the society we are living in. Craps are comments which states money are secondary. I beg to differ. Love without money and you think you can survive? Thats just wishful thinking which sooner or later will lead to depression. Not that i hope or pray for that to happen to the people out there. But we need to be realistic right. Just hw do you survive wo money? Money is essential. A necessasity. And you never know in time to come, money IS everything.
Gone are the days where i will always dream i will get money out of nowhere. Maybe a rich man wants me or i struck a fortune. Funny when i think back how princessy i could get. I have learnt to step in the real world. Its hard and frigging hard that is but i am surviving. When i am so hard and tite towards the end of the month, i feel like breaking down. I hate myself for not studying hard enough to secure myself a high standing post. If i could turn back time, i would and make sure i soar high to the sky. If only. I do not want the current standing i had now. I want to earn big bucks. I want to pursue my studies. I want my skills or even passion to be recognised. I do not want to be bullied just because i do not possess THAT standing. I have my dreams to be respected and reputable and not a second-standard individual.
Wish of myself being a rich girl has always been playing in my mind but yet thankful i wasn't. Contradicting, yes i know. Since i am not one, i have learn the meaning of endurance and perseverance. Learn the need to be optimistic and work for things i wish for. I am so thankful for that.
Now the issue is, how do i juggle between the responsibility and the desire to work towards my dreams? Yes, i am caught in the two. I do not have the luxury of doing both. My life is as such. I need to choose.fast. I can't afford to be selfish and just think of myself. or should i? Self before others? Thats is so #%#@(*# inconsiderate.
Love told me before, ' I will be happy for you if you get to achieved what you want dear. If getting to a university is what you want, go ahead.' Those words became my source of encouragement. I want to be proud(in a gd way of course) of myself and US. I wish to prove to me and ___________ that i can just be like the others and even more then that. One day, people will stop comparing me with some others so-called brainy witch or wizard.
___________ love to say about others this and that. Always saying me and the YOUNGER siblings aren't competent enough. To cut short ___________ sayings, the message I get is we are sore losers. Simply put, harsh but 'refreshing' enough to push myself harder. That is why i hate it when the siblings are ever so lazy to further their studies and be so laidback. It is as if giving more points for ___________ to say in the future. JUst yest, my youngest sis said,
' I don't ever wish to step into poly. I think i cant also. If i ever step into ITE is good enough.'
I no longer have anything against ITE but her message is simple. tsk. My ear went dhnnngggggg when she said that.
Oh Allah almighty, please path the right way for me. Grant me, even the least light will do so that i can move towards it.
Love, i am sorry. I have no idea whether i have been to hard on you regarding this matter. I may have been pushing too hard. When at times we have our disagreement, trust me that somehow i do not know i have become overly optimistic. You need me and i need you sweetheart. You know that. You are my smiles and my inspiration. We have our own sets of views and opinions but Walk with me throughout this dear. I so need you.
Even if i or even us do not reach the sky,
at the very least we reach the starz. I will not have any regrets cause i tried. and you tried.
studies matter
